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Posted by Ben Crudo on

If I got to choose a coast I got to choose the East
I live out there, so don't go there
But that don't mean a nigga can't rest in the West
See some nice breasts in the West
Smoke some nice sess in the West, y'all niggaz is a mess
Thinkin I'm gon stop, givin L.A. props
I shall annihilate thee
Case closed, suitcase filled with clothes
Linens and things, I begin things
People start to flash, 818's, 213's, 313's,

Here's a few fun reads if your feelin' the holiday blues or just want a good laugh. Check these OUT!

"Today, I got a Christmas present from my boss. It was an ab workout video. FML"

"Today, my colleague rushed off to the hospital for the birth of his first son. Having met his wife at the Christmas party a couple of years ago, I called to congratulate her. Shame I didn't realize it was his mistress having the baby. Guess who broke the news to the wife? FML"

"Today, at work, I was forced to listen to the Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on repeat for 8 hours. FML"

"Today, I told my boyfriend that since I lost my job I can't afford a Christmas present for him, or anyone. He said trying anal would be fine. FML"

"Today, I was wrapping Christmas presents for various people; 17 to be exact. It wasn't until I placed the last present on top of the stack that I realized I didn't put gift tags on any of them. FML"

All these are from, always a good place to make you feel better about your life.

Here's some more from, text's you don't remember sending or wish you wouldn't remember.

(207)": She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

(248): Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way back to apartment. Not a joke.

(715): he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree...not great but still make the cut.

(732): just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit!

(931): dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.

By: Vé & Miss Tilly

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